TricaB™ : I DON’T THINK SO!

The decision to stay in Eau Claire, Wisconsin was a supported decision from my parents. Why you ask? They made it very clear that you can make it and God will provide for you. My mother and I went back to the hotel to figure out what the next plan was going to be. There was so much that I had to deal with because I had a job in Wisconsin and I was only given so much time off to handle my situation. To make matters worse both he and I worked in the same building and knew once I returned I would still have to see him. Let just say I was not looking forward to dealing with that. Being force to face someone that has rejected you is not a good feeling. I was clearly operating off the strength of God. Some would say quit that job.

The run down for everything that was going down is this. I was homeless, no car, no money, no family, no friends, pregnant, and absolutely NO resources. With all of this on my plate it would have been easy to just give up and run back to Chicago but I didn’t. I had no idea how radical my faith was at the time. There were questions galore; where was I going to live? How was I going to get back and forth to work? When would I be able to get my possessions out of the garage (where I once lived)? How long would I have to stay in a shelter? How was I going to handle being divorce? And the star question of all when was I going to stop crying?

My family and I prayed and I rolled my selves up and went to work. Was it hard not having any thing concrete to use YES! It was scary! Once I committed to that decision to stay, God immediately put people, places and things in my life. I always say this… “God is the best strategizer I know”.

One evening I was working and this lady walked into the salon and I knew there was something different about her so I asked her “What Church do you belong too?” And instantly we started to talk, we exchange numbers and through her she introduced me to a wonderful woman whom still remains one of my good friends (Dream Supporters). She knows who she is! I Love you Girl…!

As smart as I think I am, there is no way I could have arranged the events that were about to take place in my life. After going back to Chicago to handle some business I returned to Eau Claire, Wisconsin homeless where then I moved into a shelter for women and children. This is where the humbling process began for me. During this time I needed to be broken down in order to see myself. It amazes me how society does not like to admit mistakes. I read that as not liking your reflection. Your reflection tells the truth. It shows every flaw, inaccuracy and imperfection.

One would say why you would do stay, because you have a family that loves and supports you in Chicago. YES I DO! But... I repeat this was a situation where I wanted God to rescue me not my parents. Yes, my family has always been there for me but I had to learn that God is God and he can do ALL things. There was a determination on the inside that was so strong. Staying came from a prediction that I could not make it on my own. NEVER tell a strong woman that she cannot do something!

Of course I have nothing to prove but it was just enough ammunition I needed to survive. Throughout this entire ordeal I was pregnant and somehow my brain and body were not working together. When I arrived at the shelter the advocates there instructed me to take a pregnancy test because they knew. Once I took the test and I actually seen the results I still was not getting it. Completely dumb founded! The first thing that popped in my head: “How can I take care of a child and I am homeless?” Here I am living in a shelter with no money, no car, so how in the world am I going to provide a good life for someone else?

My friend was my right hand. She and her family became my family. Every day she would come to visit and make sure that I had everything that I needed. She became my motivation, determination and coach. My friend helped me to figure out and plan what was next. I am completely convinced that she was divinely put in my life. Within a few days God bless me with a car. Never met this couple before and they just gave it to me! WHAT!!! And to top it off they fill the tank. Of course later on they became my dearest friends. God began to really work and show his supernatural power in my life.

After moving into the shelter I never once allowed myself to get comfortable with being there. The second day of moving in I sat down and wrote out a contract with myself and listed everything that was going to happen and I also gave myself a time line. I gave myself 30 days to be out of the shelter. On that contract were details of having an apartment, a better job, money, and a down payment for my apartment. When I tell you everything began to line up according to what I was saying and believing, IT DID! The moment I wrote that contract I signed it and dated it in faith knowing that all things are possible because I chose to believe. Not when it happens but when I prayed. NOW faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things NOT seen. – Hebrews 11:1

It was revealed to me that, the key to God’s supernatural blessings at this time in my life was one simple thing FORGIVENESS! Yes I said it FORGIVENESS! It is hard sometimes YES!! Your heart can become so bruised and scared that it restrains you from being free. Forgiveness is such a powerful tool and if it is not enforced in thorny situations then there will be no power gained. Forgiveness freed me! Negative Energy wants to ALWAYS keep things stirred up in your heart so that there is no progression. Progression leads to growth which leads to fulfilling your destiny.

The feelings about what was happening to me were not GOOD! But I came up with a simple conclusion. Is he (my ex-husband) really worth missing out on my BLESSINGS from God? I DON’T THINK SO!! You bet your socks HE IS NOT worth it!! I would add it up as; Two years of pure you know what IS worth a LIFE-TIME of Abundances from my creator. hummmm! I think I will take a life-time of abundances. I know this might sound a little silly but I figured it would be too much work to hate him. Hating/Bitterness can become draining and time consuming.

I refused to be one of those women that holds hurt and bitterness for years and miss out on the true promises of God. I made a conscious decision to not allow that stuff (bitterness/hurt) to become a part of my character and behavior. I was in a situation where I needed God (like RIGHT NOW not in five minutes but RIGHT NOW) and I could not afford to waste my time, energy or emotional health living there. It was not easy but fortitude was deeply rooted inside my soul. Surely, my heart was broken into a million pieces but I knew God would mend it. YES, I wanted him (ex-husband) to suffer just as much as I did but I truly believe life has a way of returning what you deposit. You will reap what you sow be it good or bad! Ladies and Gentlemen bitterness/hurt and all of that junk will age you and I was not “Having it”!

The story continues!

My desire is that you will allow FORGIVENESS to be a part of your DNA! Yes it is a daily struggle but I am living evidence that it is achievable. Be encouraged world…

Below are pictures of the shelter I lived in and the car (I named my car faith) that was given to me.

Till Next Time!