It is amazing when you make a commitment/vow whether it be
spiritual or natural you will be challenged on the "the words" that
come out of your mouth. Many many months ago I made a commitment/vow and my
exact words were "Lord Keep me in the CENTER of your perfect will".
Saying this I was releasing my will and accepting his will. At that moment I
had no idea what I was truly saying. So, those words resurfaced into my brain.
I pondered, I stewed, I questioned, and I analyzed every word that I said. The
conclusion was inevitable! That very moment of dedicating my life to Gods will
I meant it. There was no doubt or question that my life was about to take an
incomprehensible shift.
Ladies and Gentlemen now coming to
stage; ABANDONMENT, PANIC, BROKENNESS,
SELF DOUBT, WORRY, QUESTIONING of SELF, EMPTINESS, and the main headliner FEAR.
All of these characters work together to produce EGO STRIPPING, and HUMBLING!!!
I do not care how many times we hear scriptures and read affirmation when it
hits your front door step the first thing we want to do is RUN.... That was my
case! It is a whole different ball game. And of course the first thing I did
was pull out the scriptures and watch the tapes, pray and snot all over my
bedroom floor thinking that in the morning I am going to feel better BUT...I
didn't. I felt like I was going through this never ending tunnel of emotion and
of course self pity. So the question of the week "What do you do when you
pray, do all those wonderful things they say to do and none of it works? It’s
not that I doubt God or his word I just realize that sometimes God just stands
still. This is the part where you have to do the work and really fight the
principalities of the air and in that give him CONSTANT thanks.
As, humans we are always trying to find
earthly and material things to make us happy but what if you don't have access
to none of that. I picked up the bible and for the first time in my life I
could not say my favorite scripture out loud. It was like I had paralyzes of
the mouth. So tears began to form in my eyes and I just wept holding the bible
because "FEAR" had taken center stage. The process of Ego stripping
and humbling is Painful and uncomfortable. The only example I can use is going
to the doctor. No one likes to go but you just grin and bear it. But because I
love God and my heart is right I breathe right through it. Either I can chose
to accept the process or be miserable for the rest of my life. God’s way or my
way. It is obvious that my way is not working. This is all because of the commitment
I made to God. If I hadn't uttered those words I'm pretty sure my life would have
taken another turn. Would I have been happier spiritually or naturally, I doubt
it!
I'm sure your wondering do I regret my
commitment to God. "NO
WAY".... My love for him goes deeper than any ocean known to man.
Someone told me that "I am in the making and molding process". For a simpler
example it’s like marriage vows. That moment when you stand before God, Family,
and that person you love, those words that you speak into the air ignites power
especially if that mate is created just for you. The both of you make a lifelong
commitment and promise to each other. We can guarantee that life, and time will
test your EVERY word. But because you love each other and you love God, you
work hard, pray hard and love hard. And this is the same concept with God.
Because I love God I accept the process and stand by my commitment/vow!!
Till Next Time!
TricaB
