The last couple of weeks
have been interesting. Three days out of two weeks I’ve managed to endure
two hospitals, 2 IV’s, 3 shots, pain meds, test galore, over a dozen of blood
samples, x-rays, 2 bags of sodium chloride, and a congregation of bruises. My
arms look like the road map to Idaho. And through all of that I managed to
still keep my sense of humor and calmness. My confidence was in God. Not one
time did I allow fear to keep me company.
I knew something was
wrong when food no longer became appealing and pain was louder than thoughts.
There were no words to describe the pain and discomfort I was feeling. Doctors
and nurses were puzzled because they could not understand what was going on. First,
it was a Kidney infection, and then they said Lupus, Fibromyalgia, and a
“cousin” of the flu and on and on. It
was as though they were determined to diagnose me with something. And of
course a grocery list of medications. Needless to say all of us were baffled.
Because of my confidence in God I refuse to accept any of the results. After
all the drama my conclusion was simple a “demonic attack” from Satan himself.
These past several
years Satan has been on a campaign to afflict my body and being the stubborn
woman that I am I refuse to give into it. Sickness is not a companion I want to
keep around. When you commit your body as living sacrifice holy unto god it
angers the devil. That is when his plots are so-called executed. The secret to
winning these battles is to be COMPLETELY PERSUADED that you win. The weapons
may form but they have no triumph!
So, I began to analyze this
thing and my thoughts began to spill over. Just because you see a person smile,
or act content does not mean they are exempt from drama. Be careful of jealousy
toward others…You never know what he or she has had to endure. Their shoes
might look cute but in reality they hurt like heck.
I believe that extremely gifted, talented and chosen individuals
experience the highest level of unexplainable “Life” episodes. In others words there is always a BATTLE or
WAR to fight. Why because, “darkness”
does not want “light” to prevail or
reign supreme over the world. No disrespect,
but the average person could not and maybe never understand this.
Fight
is
a word that I’ve had to adapt as a lifestyle. The day I was born I’ve had to
fight. Nothing that I have obtained has been given or has come easy. Of course
I am not voiding out Gods Favor that
is on my life however, I’ve still had to fight. Just thought I would clear up
any preconceived notions of a “trouble-free
life”. There has been a hefty price that I’ve had to pay and still paying. And
guess what, I didn’t get any change back.
That is why I don’t believe
in jealousy or the desire to want another person’s life. That is foolish and
dangerous. In most cases those people would say “I almost died or lost my mind etc.” Not that I was looking for another
testimony but I would be a part of that group of people that would say “Yup I almost died and almost lost my mind”...
I am always asking God “do I really need
another testimony I’m good I promise”!
I had to realize that I
was born extremely talented, unusual, a warrior, consistent, and a woman with an
“over the top” sense of humor. “For you created my
inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb” – Psalm 139:13.
Needless
to say that there has been much blood lost and weakness to overcome but I made
it. The price of the “gift” is
costly but it is worth it! Those who read my blog have heard this before. My
prayer: “Lord keep me in the center of your perfect will not my will but
thine will be done. I might not understand
or even like it but help me to adjust to it and stay strong because your will is design just for me”.
Thank God I am back to
myself and back to my weekly scheduled program. However, the power of “NO” is a wonderful thing! “If Gods not in it I will not attend it”.
I just kept going and going and pushing my body to the limit. Being sick was
also a buildup of stress and not listening to my body. There were signs but I
did not listen, because again part
of my makeup is being consistent. I learned to take care of “Trica” and prioritize
the things in my life. Stress build up is no joke!
Take a breather, step
away, shut it off, rejuvenate and allow yourself to hear your own heart beat. Not
telling you what I heard but what I did! You might be surprised, but your brain
cells will thank you. Don’t do what I did and end up in the hospital “No Bueno”
Peace and Blessings!
